so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
