We're like a lot better than the average bears
she woke up with a sticky ear
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
