Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
