You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
