I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
