yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
