Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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