do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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