I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
