I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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