what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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