Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
