I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
