Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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