sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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