I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
