so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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