I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
