So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
