your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
