Kiss
Puke
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
