Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
