how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
