Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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