Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
