hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
