my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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