Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
