I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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