We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
