i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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