Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
