wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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