Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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