Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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