Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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