hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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