Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
