was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
