Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
