so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
