super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
