I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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