oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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