I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
