but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
