i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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