Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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