I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
