I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
