Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
