did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
